Santa’s Bailout

Twas the Night Before Congress

Hope for Hard Times Through the Magic of Christmas
- By Paul Schlegel

Twas the night before Congress, with Santa awake
Planning a scheme for his bailout take
The Elves were all panicked from weeks without pay
And Rudolph had flown off to sell off the sleigh

The reindeer were frightened to not have a sled
And mistakenly thought that old Rudolph had fled
Mrs Clause she was miffed with few presents to wrap
And worried of China and the growing trade gap.

Santa came in and asked “Dear, what’s the matter”?
“Well, we’re so short on food and you’re not getting fatter.”
Oh Santa he laughed as he threw up the sash.
“Just pull out your Visa and advance us some cash.”

Mrs. Claus shook her head and said, “Oh my, don’t you know?
Our cards were revoked and our cashflow is slow.
Basically Santa, we’re well in arrears,
You might want to think of some different careers.”

Well just then ol’ Santa -  he had to think quick,
“Congress wants plans - and I just have my schtick.
But if I show them MY plan they’ll make me explain:
‘You give AWAY presents? No profits? Insane!’”

“Hey Dasher, Hey Dancer, Hey Prancer and Vixen!
Hey Comet, Hey Cupid, Hey Donder and Blitzen!
Come here with the elves and give Rudolph a call.
I might have a plan, but I need you ALL!

We don’t need the Congress to make Christmas fly,
It’s all about Christmas demand and supply.
Elves, how many toys were you able to do?
35 Million Three Thousand and two?”

“Well, technically that number is just not enough.
But what if we do all that magical stuff?”
Of course Santa’s magic is world-renowned.
And the elves and the reindeer could help it compound!

So all of them visualized massive output,
And Santa Claus hummed and he tapped with his foot;
Then they looked at the toys and were taken aback
Good grief! said the elves. Now we’ll have to repack!

Santa’s eyes how they twinkled. And his dimples were merry!
He said, “Chrismas is fun. It’s not meant to be scary!”.
Then the reindeer took off with the toys all in tow.
And they flew through the sky and they flew through the snow.

“Hooray for our Santa!” cheered the elves with a shriek.
And Santa Claus wiped a small tear from his cheek.
Then his face it grew fatter and so did his belly,
And now when he laughed he shook just like jelly!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
Yep. Santa was back to his whole Christmas self!
You know that wink of his eye and that twist of his head,
That let’s us all know we have nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word and he went straight to work,
No bailouts needed, no government perks.
That Santa he worked so fast  one might suppose,
To Congress it seemed he was thumbing his nose!

And at the end of day he let out a whistle
And his team flew away like the down of a thistle.
And then he exclaimed as he drove out of sight
“Christmas is here. It will all be alright!”

Text and Video Copyright December 16, 2008, by Paul Schlegel

Special thanks to:

• KarensWhimsey.com (Beautiful classic Christmas graphics. Also, please take a lookt at her original artwork).
• PDPhoto.org (Beautful photography).
• MorgueFile.com (More beautiful photos)
• My wife and children who have helped me remember the magic of Christmas.